Through science, and a bit of common sense, it has been established that Man’s ultimate goal is survival, both on the scale of the species and the individual. It has also been acknowledged by the masses that Man is inheritently violent. Does anyone else see the connection between these two concepts?
Only the strongest, the smartest, and the most swift survive. In our inherently violent nature, our tendency to kill eachother off, we have slowly weeded out the weak, thus slowly carving Man, as a species, into the survivor that he is. It’s when we began to give value to the weak, the neither strong, swift, or smart, that we began to unravel the progress that took ages to build. Surely, this concept is an unpopular one, however most inconvenient truthes are never very popular. The ego, the individual, is selfish. And it’s fucking shit up for us.
I’m so fucking angry. At everything. At everyone. For everything. And whenever I brighten up, even just a tad, I just get bitter faces and no words.
TREATING ME THAT WAY DOESNT MAKE ANY OF US FEEL ANY BETTER SO GROW THE FUCK UP AND HELP ME THROUGH THIS.
when i’m not angry, or hateful, or spiteful, I’m suicidal. There is no up, just different levels of down. I dont want to go through this ever again. I hate everything, only a little less than I hate myself. The hole I dug below myself has blinded me and I cant find any light.
Flipped a coin all night last night, and all day when I got home from work. Heads: press on, Tails: take the easy way out. 2/3 flips every time said suicide. So tempting. But I’m still here. Still going. We’ll see.
It was just the first day back,
But fuck I wanna leave this job.
Things were going great. The sky was the limit. Now I just want out, even though there’s nowhere to go.
It’s days and nights like this that make me wanna break out the shotgun and escape it all.
But I cant and I wont. My existence isnt only for me. Just have to believe it will get better. Just have to know things will get better if I truly apply myself for change. Only I can bring the change I need. Only I can make it better.
But fuck me it’s difficult to hold the resolve I need.